The unimaginable touch of Time. --Wordsworth (1822)

by Cyla Allison, Ph.D.

Every rivulet on my face and body is a testimony to experience and maybe some hard won wisdom. At least, I think so. In some cultures those crevasses are honored.

I didn't think much about my aging (except to be happy about it, considering the alternatives as George Burns would say) until I made my annual appointment with the new Slash-and-Burn. My old dermatologist had been quite interested in my retirement plans the last few visits, asking questions about my decision to adopt a countrified life, away from traffic, stores and myriads of people. It wasn't until I got the notice in the mail that he had retired and a new skin man was in his place that I understood the old guy's preoccupation with my life decisions. Good for him, I thought.

I met the new guy-efficient and young, but I have noticed that all the doctors seem to be young. The police, too, seem to be nearly children, lawyers hardly any older. I, of course, note that I am getting more mature. Those who bother to be polite have called me 'Ma'am" and not 'Miss' for years now.

So I called to make another appointment and I was asked to come in a half hour early to 'update paper work.' Since I printout a record of medical records from my computer and nothing has changed in a year including my insurance, I could not imagine what new paperwork could take half an hour at a dermatologist's.

But I dutifully go early.

There is the usual sign-this-sign-that which takes, perhaps, five minutes to handle. Done. Then the 'Cosmetic Interest Questionnaire.'

What is this? Are they selling Mary Kay cosmetics, make-up?

"Please answer the following questions so we can better address your concerns today:"

I had no concerns: Just the usual sun damage earned while working in the garden, taking my kids to the beach and foolishness during my callow youth.

"If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be?"

It never occurred to me. I look myself over. A normal, thick old body, scarred, multiple surgeries, signs of babies, accidents, joy. What? I should change? This is what I was born with. People recognize me, feel comfortable. Well, I would like to be taller. I always have. Life would just be so much easier. I am flummoxed.

The next question: "When looking in the mirror, I am concerned about the appearance of my wrinkles (circle one) yes no. "

Not even a chance to hedge on that one. What's wrong with my wrinkles? They turn up at the ends, mostly from laughter. They hide under my freckles. I used to get teased about freckles. Is it too late for that? Should I be concerned? Look in the mirror? I hardly ever look in the mirror. Who has time for that? Brush teeth, comb hair and get going is my life. I'm old now and I want to live the time I have left, not look at myself in a mirror. What a waste of time.

Then follows: "Health issues and procedures or products of Interest to you (please check all that apply)." Then follows a list of 22 procedures that the young Slash-and-Burn can perform on my evidently decrepit old carcass.

Ye Gads!

My goal is to coast off into old age with self confidence. I want to live a healthy and vibrant time, laughing and enjoying those who are close to me as well as meeting new people. Do you think I need 'Collagen Therapy' to do that? Do I need to spend my precious time and retirement funds in a doctor's office for elective treatments to erase the signs that I have lived a full life? Have I somehow missed the boat?

Should I be agonizing over lines in my face? They get deeper I suppose, but so slowly I don't notice. I am more concerned about being mentally limber, keeping arthritis at bay and my cholesterol numbers within a reasonable range. BOTOX? I should put a poison in my old crate? I should enhance my lips? Already I am too often too outspoken. Can you imagine if I had enhanced lips?

In fact, I am somewhat resentful of this fresh kid-doctor imposing on my time trying to drum up business on the assumption that like too many Americans I am not happy with who I am and so want to change how I look. But he has wasted enough of my energy already. Next time they tell me to come in early, I'll come on time. We old people are like that, curmudgeonly.